THE FLIGHT HIGHER UP

The higher up I rose,
The deeper I sank,
Feelings drowned me,
Felt like a divine prank...

On one of those clouds I want to sit and float,
Look there, on the horizon I see God's abode...

The infinity of the divinity made everything seem so insignificant,
A feeling that was so incessant...

All my pride went in vain,
So less I know was the cause of my pain...

Sense of greatness is what I always sought,
Not knowing how beautiful it is to be small like a dot...

As a seeker of knowledge I felt so ignorant,
Surge to comprehend the magnanimous divine alchemy was rampant...

I knew I was somewhere far,
The view down earth was bizarre...

It bothered me too much not to care,
The meaninglessness of everything on earth got gradually bare...

Too incapacitated to decipher the divine intention,
We mortals are less foresighted and prone to deception... 

Upon this realization came surrender exclusively liberating,
From the ignorance so excruciating...

The enlightened new me, many things could see,
See the divine vision that sets one free..

Too earthy and mortal to comprehend the divine and his mysterious ways,
HIS infinite visions are the ones that make my days...

The higher up I rose,
The deeper I sank,
Feelings drowned me,
Felt like a divine prank...

WITHOUT YOU

Sometimes I miss you like the desert misses the rain. It’s one of those times now when existence seems so meaningless without you. The hours haunt me and don’t let me escape, turning me into a restless puppet at the hands of destiny.

All I do is watch the clock ticking second by second alarming me of the passing time that I lose without you. My over indulgence in the causes, the reasons, the ‘why’s’ lead me to a non-conclusive conclusion, circumlocuting into a vicious spiral. The more I delve, the greater I get sucked into the spiral unable to return to normalcy, a numb zone.

I was never able to tell myself how much I loved you. Every time I tried to quantify it just amplified! Unrequited though it was but it made me feel alive. Lies, deception and rejection though it was, it made me feel at home. And now I thrive on a barren land often gazing into the mighty space trying to figure out the directions. You are like those impossible breaths that I can’t stop from breathing, the moment I stop, I know I would die.

Discomforting the way you are, arouses fear of abandonment within me. You are my worst nightmare. When you were gone, I realized that sometimes our biggest dreams are contained within our worst nightmares and sometimes home is not that comforting. Yet with you was an imperfect peaceful alliance like two disharmonious cords making rhythm together.

You are the only thing that beckons me and I so wish were close, yet I chose to walk away and you chose to let me go. In you something devastative I fear, that  sends me into years of seclusion seeking the comfort of loving you in silence. I will be back to relive those times spent with you, every year this day, in my memories.  And now I don’t cry because you are gone, I smile because you happened, to bring out infinite love in me within the finite possibilities.

MY LOVE TO YOU, I BEQUEATH,

FOR EVERY WITHOUT IS FOLLOWED BY A WITH…

ENGRAVE

Amidst the most certain things that ditched,

You were the most uncertain thing that persevered,

And I got hitched…

My belief in love as an act of persistence,

Brought about this consistence,

Through my need of succurance…

I have died a thousand deaths in your love,

I can die a thousand more,

But to my remorse,

Neither could those thousand change you, nor will a thousand more…

Your lies paved my grave,

And I ran into it in search of hope,

I was desperate they say,

But you see, I was brave…

Brave to stand on my grave,

Against all odds to break the codes,

To believe in things you made invisible,

To let you know my spirit is incorrigible…

The realisation that I no longer need your love,

Made my way to eternity’s hub,

Time ends for those who need love,

But for those who love, it lasts forever,

A truth that no mortal force can shove…

One day when the sun be above the horizon, the dust of fear shall settle,

And your eyes more able,

Shall make your heart walk to my grave,

Covered by flowers of longing and crave,

You shall still find me,

In these words that I ENGRAVE…

WRITER'S RETREAT

For every writer in love, their beloved is a Deity,
And writing, an institution of worship,
For the beloved finds eternity in their sacred words, beyond the principle of time...

Holding the pen is like identifying the beloved's presence,
Writing is like making love to them,
Fueled by desire to write, like passion on fire,
Publishing like love manifest !