Thursday, 11 June 2015

FOREVER

I will remain in you forever,
You chase me out and I will linger,
For even if you escape me, you can’t escape my thought
And that’s what would hurt,

You pushed me to a corner,
It ignited the burner,
It clearly showed me my place,
I loved it there because that was your grace,

Not all flames set fire, Some set smoke
And I choke...
Smoke dissipates,
The confusion of your presence suffocates...

Why did you leave things incomplete and unclear?
Moments of longing act like spear,
Cutting through my clouded heart of desire,
Will I ever see you? ... its bizarre

What’s mine???
Mind, body and soul make a complex trine...
Incompatible dimensions, paradoxical intentions,
Living through ramifications...

The mismatched pieces of puzzle lead somewhere,
To a no man’s land, no where...
Where heaven and earth unite,
Free from bondages, the hour of the twilight...

The fire you have set in my heart shall light you forever,
And you know it’s not over,
How can you stay in peace...

When I will love you forever !!!

Thursday, 19 March 2015

I HATE YOU

I don’t think you made my life better but definitely you didn’t worsen it either.  You were never present, but you never let me feel your absence either. With you it’s a love hate paradox.  

I hate you for not doing things my way, but the outcome is beautiful when things are your way...
I hate your uncertainty but then the most certain things in life have ditched...
You didn’t give me what I wanted, but you also didn’t give me what I didn’t want...

You torture, you play mind games, and you irritate and then strangely leave a deep desire sinking within me to spend every irritating minute with you...
I have no right to stop you from going, but I can at least say please don’t leave

No just leave, I hate you...

I don’t want you... 
wait I mean..... I badly need u...

Friday, 13 February 2015

SOULMATE

Losing through you what seemed myself, I find selves unimaginably mine[e. e. Cummings]

“And when one of them meets with his other half… the pair is lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight…: these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another.” [Plato, 360 B.C.E]

This is exactly what happens when you meet your soulmate. You don’t meet your soulmate easily nor do you meet until you have attained the wisdom to recognise him or her. God polishes you, makes you go through fire, makes you strong and worthy of your soulmate. Its not until you have passed these karmic testings that u’ll meet your soulmate. Soulmates are not two people who rush into a relationship before they are wise enough to choose. Your soulmate moves you from your reality to god’s reality. And once you have stood the test of time and have known your soulmate, you will feel entirely whole, healed and intact in his or her presence, like no piece missing from the puzzle and feel enriched in your spirit.

It is said that since the beginning of time everyone was created as perfect soul. These souls had two halves. One half consisted of the male energy and the other half consisted of the female energy. Each was incomplete without the other and together they were power house of energy and creativity. Together they were the ultimate dynamo and hence susceptible to pride and exploitation.  To teach a lesson the creator separated these halves into human forms and bought them into worldly existence, to live their independent lives, experience and expand and undergo their individual karmic testing till they are wise and worthy enough to unite with their other half.

Failure to overcome your karmic testing would lead to failure in finding your soulmate. There is an incomplete feeling in the process. There is a void within you. There is loneliness and separation, which gives rise to a desire to connect to your soulmate. This is why when you meet your soulmate, there is an instant connection and you really can’t figure out the reason behind your meeting. You feel strange yet intrigued by the mystery of your meeting. There is a deep sense of connection and understanding and you feel very familiar and just a feeling of being at home. This person may not be the kind of people you usually interact with yet this unfamiliarity gives way to familiarity, security and comfort. You are drawn like a magnet to this person. It becomes difficult to lament reasons for your attraction to this person. Amidst the frustration to understand this strange alchemy, you might want to move away from this person but something gets you back to this person again and again.

It’s strange but you can read each other’s mind. Words really don’t matter; it’s just that you both know. You both are telepathically connected and similar in many fashions, yet different to complement each other. This person is not someone you want but someone you need to change your life for the better and bring about virtues in you that you badly need to learn. In any soul mate relationship, you will need to give up the illusion that there is a perfect person waiting for you who will fulfil your every expectation and give you everything you desire. Do not expect your ideal soul mate to be someone who is always loving and easy to get along with, who agrees with everything you say or do, and who brings you a life of ease or comfort. It’s a paradox, you really can’t figure out the answer why you fell for this person yet this person would bring you nothing but happiness.

The discernible meeting of an intimate soul mate comes with powerful emotion and strong physical attraction. There is a chemistry and instant recognition. There is an overwhelming aura of this person that hovers over you, passions run deep and at times to the extent of ruminations and obsessions. But unlike other relationships you don’t feel like resisting this ardour rather lose yourself into its mesmerising captivity.

What, did I hear you asking me how do you search for your soulmate???

My friend, trust me, give up searching. Soulmates can never be searched for, they just happen to meet !!! They will not arrive in your life until you are tried and tested, until destiny churns and twists your patience, your dreams and every emotion, till finally when you hopelessly give up. And then the tides take turn and enters this grand person into your life with silent footsteps at a destined time beyond your control, often accidentally, and without your recognition as such. You should take risks, meet failures, disappointment and disillusion, but you should never give up faith and cease in your search for love, for in the end you will triumph, your patience, perseverance and persistence will never go unrewarded

Don’t expect this person to arrive and change you, you find the balance first and move towards change, and then they will eventually come and take you to the unexplored realms of life, the wild blue unknown yonder. You both would be like balloons moving together in one direction and that direction is up. When soulmates meet things just happen, every possible obstacle dissipates into the air, impossible turns into possible, miracles happen and that’s how the divine hand blesses you, because you have successfully accomplished the divine will. As rightly said by Arielle Ford “When deep down in the core of your being you believe that your soulmate exists, there is no limit to the ways he or she can enter your life”

And this valentine it would be incomplete if I cease to address my hearts longing to you my soulmate, for I know you are somewhere seeking me, listening to my hearts call...

I know I’ll find you accidentally, amidst trading hearts,
I’ll take a deep breath and stand amazed, sensing cupid’s silent darts...
And slowly I’ll find myself melting to your silent hypnotic gestures,
My broken heart will start healing all its raptures...
Your handsome intense face would be so familiar,
That I have known you since ages, my twin soul, would be absolutely clear...
You would send me into a state of trance, where I would be waiting for a chance,
To be in your arms and make with you the divine love dance...
When I sit in silence and asked my heart, who do I belong to? Every part of my heart shouts yes, yes, yes it’s you!!! .
With you I would be one, with you I would grow with virtues that never belonged to me, with you I would be complete, secured and fearless, with you there would be no barriers of distance, time or space,

With you my will would be at par with god and my loved ones, with you my desires would come to an end and supreme bliss I would transcend, intoxicated by your presence every second.

Thursday, 5 February 2015

VOID

Part of everyone’s happiness, away from mine
Amidst fog waiting for sunshine
Every passing time brings cloud of change
Moments of regret have no exchange
Thoughts tend to meander and fear makes total surrender
What keep things going, I wonder...

In parts I search for my scattered self
Should I seek for help?
What I seek is not what seeks me
Make me void of desire, it’s a humble plea
The divine is too difficult to comprehend
Give me the wisdom to mark the end...

Singing song to a tune that does not fit
Accepting potential misfit
Accused n not able to explain
Who am I suppose to blame?
I am a prisoner of my heart and guilty by mind
Winning one day at a time, no rewind...




Friday, 26 September 2014

UNREQUITED LOVE

With you I have been in love of a kind I have never been before,
Washed by the waves, unable to drown I am struggling at your shore.

Stepped on every stone and pebble that you do,
Breathe the air that touches you,
Felt everything you go through,
So close to you yet far away, I am at a loss when I think what to do !!!

My love is effortless, for my restlessness and desire can never get me to you,
It’s only yours that can get us together, but the chances are few.
To let you go is not easy but to hold on to you is simply crazy,
I doubt whether we share the same feelings, an expert at circumlocution that you are, making everything appear hazy.

My deliberations don’t help me,
The greater I keep the distance the closer they get me.
It’s a cosmic conspiracy,
Of which there is no escape, how do I explain this urgency.

It’s difficult to take off, my emotions are greasy,
Words don’t come easy,
Your presence scares,
Your gruff manners and eccentricity tears.

What a tremendous sense of control you have over me,
I am losing myself on to thee.
I wish it was easy to escape your hypnotic trap and just walk away,
Of which I make futile efforts every day.

My heart is in a civil strife,
Not knowing what it wants, leads to sadistic ripples that cut like a knife.
Will I ever fit into those glass slippers?
I am insidiously burning in your flame that flickers.

Can someone tell you how it creates distortion of self?
Can I ever tell you I need your help?
Can someone tell you, the unstitched corners of my heart need to be sew?
Can I ever tell how intensely I feel for you?

I know my love would disappear one day into the air,
Unsaid, unheard and unanswered, layer by layer,
But I often ask myself would it be fair?
To not let you know somebody at a distance loves you and needs your care.

Strange is this saga of unrequited love,
For it giving this fire within me a fan,
I don’t want to do what I can,

For I am already enjoying this painfully joyous existence, against my logical plan !!!




Saturday, 6 September 2014

DEW DIAMONDS

Way long back something bright and twinkling caught my attention
When my little feet were dancing on the wet winter grass full of illusion
It shined and dazzled like diamond reflecting the sun’s penetrating rays
When my innocent curiosity tried to hold the dew drops in multiple ways

The bubbly cheer on my face faded into fear
When I found the dew drops disappear
Tears rolled down my soft plump cheeks
And my little heart broke with pain that still leaks

I ran to mamma for her embrace was my healing balm
Secure was her presence that helped me calm
Not knowing that the world was cruel
I complained her somebody stole my dew drops before I could hold them well

Mamma kissed me on my forehead and hugged me tight
Making every effort to protect my innocent heart that was captured by fright
Said mamma something that bought sparkle to my wet round eyes
That restored hope and I knew they were not lies

“One day will enter an angel into your life from the heaven
And will get you back everything that was ever taken
All you need to do is patiently wait by letting things go
For the angel shall turn the dew drops into diamond which you can hold and show

My child the dew drops were never gone,
They just disappeared so that they again come when its dawn
The dawn upon you of the wisdom

And then shall the angel take you to where you belong, your diamond studded kingdom”


Friday, 15 August 2014

YOU ARE NOT WRONG, BUT DIFFERENTLY RIGHT !!!

For you, I just want to write,
Not knowing what, gives me a fright,
Cause you are so far away from my sight,
But I’ll still write as it gives me so much of delight,
To let you know you are not wrong but differently right !!!

It’s very important you know you are interesting,
And very differently tempting,
You keep me intrigued and I just keep on thinking,
That I can someday match your mental perplexity and just know what makes you so mysteriously stunning !!!

Every time you are gone, I know you are gone to be back again,
And every time you are back it’s like the years first magnificent summer rain.
I just don’t want to hold on; you are beautiful when you are free,
Enjoying myself giggle at your humorous spree.
Knowing the fact that you hurt but you also heal,
I don’t know how to resist and keep myself away from your feel !!!

Have you ever observed these crabs on a beach?
They are just so impossible to reach !!!
Their funny side waddle is just what defines you,
They veer first left and then right,
When you try to get close to them they are just out of your sight !!!
Then you patiently wait to see them beautifully peek out of their shells when the shores rain,
You’ll be tempted to get close to them all over again.
And when you lose hope and just walk away,
You find them lunge forward and grab your toe, not to let you move and just to make you stay !!!

With you I am locked up in a mental alchemy,
Trying to find an answer to this strange symphony,
Submerged in these mysterious equations,
I am at a lose when I figure out your intentions,
You are such a fog,

I wonder whether to give you a cold shoulder or a warm hug !!!